I used to scoff when people say that exercise makes them destress, relax and happy. Seriously people? There are many other non-strenuous activities that will make you happy. Food, for one! Ahhh..yes. The shallow me used to think that way. And now I shamefully take back everything I said.
I started to take on a new job role this year, and I have to admit I have not been taking it very well in the first 5 months. Well to be fair, one said that it will be easy, but no one told me that it'll be this challenging either. I feel like I have to be constantly on my toes - the moment I take a back seat for a breather, I miss something out and eventually cause a minor screw up.
I'm not used to the need of having this "heightened sensitivity" - sensitivity to everything - my team members' output, their team work, their progress, their training, their day-to-day tasks - all on top of MY own things to do. Sometimes I feel like it's gonna be too much. Managing people is no easy feat. Adults are a horror to manage- any manager will tell you that. At least if you deal with kids or adolescents, you can forgive them somewhat because they're kids, but adults? I can go on rambling about this, really! But it will only make me upset. It's a Friday and I do not want to be upset!
During the interview process for my role, my global head warned me that the road that I'm heading towards is a lonely one. He said my team will start to treat me "differently" because we'll be of different "levels". I do not have friends at work - I have co-workers whom I consider colleagues, but not friends. I come to work to work, not make friends, so I thought it shouldn't be too difficult right? But now, perhaps one firend will be nice to have - someone who understands the office politics and be my "watchful eye"?
To be honest I applied for this new management role not because I was really hard up for it, but because I thought that it was about time that I move up another step, after close to 5 years in the firm. Also, my global head and regional manager were discreetly pushing me to apply, And now that I'm nearing 30, perhaps it's time to progress in my career, no?
But these days, I wonder if managing people is something that I want to do? It's just so challenging and frustrating, a lot of the times. It really is no good for this weak heart of mine. Managing a team is something very new to me and the learning curve is so steep, sometimes I feel like I do not have the energy or motivation anymore. I am thankful for my regional manager who is a great mentor and gives me guidance. She corrects me when I'm wrong, reminds me of the things I miss out, makes suggestions on how I can do things better. I sometimes feel ashamed at the mistakes I make.
So two of my colleagues are regulars of a small ladies' gym near the office and I started going at their recommendation. I started joining them too with the intention of wanting to start keeping fit again. It's been almost a decade since I exercised regularly. I like to indulge in food, and have a history of chronic illnesses in my family so I thought my lifestyle was not sustainable in the long run. I had to start exercising again at some point. After a few sessions of workouts, I realised the fulfillment a two-hour workout session can bring. My workout and weight training sessions require me to be focused - so I do not think of anything else, much less work. So I do, in actual fact, destress. And everyone knows scientifically that exercise releases happy hormones. At the end of a two-hour work out, my body is tired but I feel much better than when I leave the office. I'm losing weight but gaining muscle mass. I'm losing inches. My body is lighter and firmer - I feel good. I sleep better after a work out. There's nothing for me to lose!
So YES to working out for me. I take back everything I said in the past.
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